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The needs meme - Off in the distance
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The Bellinghman
Date: 2005-10-06 13:19
Subject: The needs meme
Security: Public
Meme: Google for the first ten hits on "$YOUR_FIRST_NAME needs", as stolen from autopope:

1. " text on Sheila, Tommy and Alan needs updating still" not exactly the active voice I was expecting

2. "Alan needs a good run in midfield so he can gain experience against good players" No, I'm not a Man U midfielder

3. "Alan needs to explain why China buying 10000000 barrels of oil on the open market affects the price of oil any differently from China "buying" 10000000" from a Chinese owned Unocal Americans get unhappy at the thought of foreigners owning one of 'their' companies

4. "Alan needs a DLL guru" No, I don't

5. "The longer the shadow, the quicker Alan needs to find shelter" I'm not going to pursue this

6. "Alan needs to ditch the corny pictures on the album artwork and on his site" Alan Braun is some metal guitarist

7. "Alan needs to make sure he finds employment with a company which is committed to equal opportunities and offers the flexibility to accommodate his religion" Indeed, I need full entitlement to sacrifice any annoying cow-orkers to fluffcthulhu

8. "Alan needs to learn to turn off his mic while someone else is on." Not me

9. "Alan needs to start using his Visual Basic Training" No way, José. I'm a C++ coder. Java's bad enough, but VB?

10. "Alan needs a family in which he feels cared for and loved." Hmph
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Angua
User: angua
Date: 2005-10-06 12:34 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Humph.

The first hit for "Karen Needs" is the Karen needs a lobotomy fund!
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The Bellinghman
User: bellinghman
Date: 2005-10-06 12:44 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
OMFG!

YES!

(I'm sorry, it's just very amusing.)
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Sion: psychedelic
User: sion_a
Date: 2005-10-06 12:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:psychedelic
I can't be bothered wading through the acres of results I get which are really things like "This decision needs to be made […]" coming from a hyphenated deci-sion in a PDF which has not been (presumably because, as I know to my pain, this is in the nature of PDFs) reassembled into the original word. Some people even manage this trick with HTML. I will, however, present you with:

  1. "Sion needs to sleep once a year... for about a week. And the time has come."

  2. "All that talk of fighting for Sion are in darkness: Sion needs no such helpers."

  3. "We should build a global network of cities of refuge, and, of course, SION needs to be a nuclear power until then, so that we can defend our cities"

  4. "The Customs, JNPT/Mumbai may be specifically be informed that no SION needs to be referred in case of General Note of 11 and 12 of Schedule of DEPB rates […]"

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Just a random swede
User: vatine
Date: 2005-10-06 12:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hrm, only got four hits and the string "Ingvar needs" wasn't in evidence in the 2nd or 3rd.
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Colette
User: bellinghwoman
Date: 2005-10-06 15:53 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
"Alan needs a family in which he feels cared for and loved."

Hmph indeed! My number 10 says "Colette needs a home where she will not be left alone for long periods of time." ...
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